CHROMEBOOKDUDE
= This Pasta is inspired by Bella1963's and ElectroAaronDYnamix Pasta's. Don't blame me for copying them. It's also a bit brutal. Well, not a bit. Maybe a lot. = Hello, my name is Chromebookdude, and this is how it all started. Yeah, dumb way to start a biography or a journal, but who cares. Day 1 Okay, to be honest with you, I was pretty stupid when I signed up in the be superhuman categories in the newspaper. And I should have been suspicious when they told me the address: The thirteenth house on 6166 Devington Street. But, I was excited at the thought of having superpowers. Who wouldn't be? Well this is what happened on that fateful day. First, when I came to that area, I saw all my dreams come true. First, the building was protected by highly armed guards. The building itself looked like a high tech lab of advanced stuff. The security guard (In high tech armor) Called the "Superintendent". When I met him, I knew he was the right one. Then, suddenly, he yelled: "SEIZE HIM!" In a Scottish/Maltese accent. Day 2 I woke up in a testing tub. Of course, they had strapped me and locked me. I looked down and there were wires attached to my body. Looking out of the plexiglass tube, I noticed what seemed like a bunch of technological computers. There were dozens of scientists scuttling around making notes. One of them, who I noticed was the Superintendent said this: "Start the testing procedure" "Yes!" One of his lackeys said. Then the scientist switched the button. I heard a loud vrooming sound and saw a liquid in the wires. They were very tube-like. Then it started heating up. I felt excruciating pain which was worse then I could have ever imagined. "Sir, the capsule is heating up!" Suddenly, there was a blinding light and I was blown about 10,000 feet in the air. I should have been shredded by the extreme friction, but I wasn't I was into much shock to care. I plummeted with crazy speeds to the ground. There was a huge crater. I looked at the Superintendent who was cowering behind a desk. I pulled him up, and he stuttered "You, you". I easily ripped his jaw off, which shocked me. I was thinking how on earth did I do that? It should have been an impossible feat since I don't exercise much. I was perplexed in my thoughts when I noticed the blood spraying out of the gap where his jaw was supposed to be was landing and covering on my hands. I looked down to wipe them when I suddenly noticed that I was looking from a much higher position then I should have been. Then, when I looked down, I saw a sight that amazed me. I was not looking down on my normal slightly chubby body, I was looking down on solid, firm muscles. As I thought of that, everything made sense. The capsule thingie must have made me into a superhuman. As I thought that, I was flooded by more thoughts Omg, does this mean I am super smart too??? '' I then thought of the most complex math problem that my brain could comprehend: g7 times 4377 to the power of 6/43? I almost instantly knew the answer. I also knew how to solve all of the hunger problems in the world. Here is the complex answer: ''You just have to combine a genetic methodex to the very vertebrae of the animal, then insert the fluid compleplexicon, and the meat will instantly make you full! Again, I was shocked by how I knew that. Suddenly, a bunch of high tech guards threw themselves at me. I easily massacred them. I first grabbed one by the head and threw him 20 feet into the other guard, so hard that their armor cracked and I heard bones snap. Then, one of them fired a tesla ray at me. It only stung a bit. I then heard the guard mutter under his breath "This is 2045 technology! How isn't it working!?!?" Those were the last words he said. I punched him so hard in the belly, my hand went through it. I could feel the gore inside his stomach. I ripped out his spine, still bloody, and threw it at a other guard. It struck his head as hard as a sniper's bullet, and it ripped through it. I looked at my arm and saw that it was drenched in blood and guts. It wasn't a pretty sight. I then put on a guards armor on that was intact (thank god he was wearing stuff underneath) It was even cooler then it looked. As soon as I put on the helmet, it was like stepping into a new world. There was data everywhere. And there was X-ray vision. Oh, I also took his plasma gun, because why not? As soon as I came out, people started treating like a king (probably because it isn't every day you see a guy in robot tech armor walking down the street). I then knocked out in my bed. Day 3 You're under arrest! That was what I heard when I woke up. There were SWAT guys everywhere. The second I woke up, they threw a gas bomb at me. This is the amount of horrendous damage it caused: a sneeze by me. They were stunned. They then threw themselves on top of me. I easily stood up. The SWAT guys flew in every direction. I didn't wanna hurt them, since they were only following orders, and put off their masks, which made them be knocked unconscious instantly by the gas. I wanted to be merciful, but that later proved to be a huge mistake on my part. I then ran, and after 2 miles realized I had a jet-pack on my suit. That's why it's so heavy! I automatically turned it on, and believe me, jet-pack riding is all you imagined but way awesome-er. I realized that high tech cops with the same energy rifles I was carrying were shooting at me. They were riding a few military jeeps and 2 were riding motorcycles. There were also some bad-ass looking AA guns on top of a few jeeps and a motorcycle. I took out a few vehicles, but one motorcycle was still trailing me. I realized that was the motorcycle with the RPG. It took a shot at me, with unfortunately for me, a tracking missile. It blew my jet-pack to pieces, but thankfully I have hover boots, so my armor wasn't damaged. I landed in some guy's car and took control of it. I wasn't hijacking, I was just using it. I then, while the car was still running, I flipped out of the sunroof onto the biker's motorcycle. I kicked him off and he went flying. Reinforcements were coming, and they sent a helicopter to scout the area. That was actually perfect because I could easily steal it from the troops. The unfortunate thing was that they were SEAL s, and I had to be careful of not getting spotted or they would open fire on me, which would be bad, because their helicopter sported a mean-looking laser cannon. I got a grappling hook (yes, it was in the suit) and attached it to the underside of the copter. I then swung around into the copter. My boots came in contact with a SEAL's face, and I bet you could hear the crunching of his skull from miles away. He fell off the copter, doomed for sure. I took control of the canon and blasted away. By now the pilot was trying to shake me off, just as he would have done if he was being chased by fighter jets. It took me a few seconds to regain balance. I then made my way over to the cockpit. I kicked open the door and it flew out of the front window. The window smashed, and sadly the pilot ducked. Who cares, ''I thought. I uppercut-ted him and he flew upwards and his head bonked on the steel ceiling. I threw him out the window. Luckily, me having been made super-intelligent, allowed me to easily move the chopper through the city streets. It said that the pilot had been going to the Ling-king prison facility. I suddenly knew where that was thanks to my super smart brain. I desperately needed a gunner, and there isn't a better place to find one then the most modern, high-security tech prison in the world? It took some time, but '''finally', I arrived. The prison looked like it was around 500 meters across and 700 meters long. I then went on the gunner's spot and tried to break the walls, which weren't scratched. I then realized I had to get my hands dirty. I lowered the rope and sneaked silently into the max security ward. The prisoners looked beastly. One of them had a huge scar running across his face. But I wasn't looking for that kinda guy. I knew I found the right one when I stopped, close a the end of the corridor. He was about 5 feet 11 and didn't look that muscular. Still, I knew exactly why he was in max security prison. "You're Alexander, right?" I didn't get to say more. The guy had already drawn a knife from his pillowcase. Don't ask me how he got it in there in max security prison. He had an angry look on his face. He said: "Who are you? What do you want?" "I wanna break you out. Are you with me?" "What's the plan?" "Oh, it's simple. I have a plasma cannon," And so we went. As I was though, I was right. As soon as we went onto the helicopter he knew what to do. He went over to the cannon, and with precise aim, took out all the guards. He even took out the military personal who were on snipers, with such accuracy, that the laser perfectly went through the scope, not touching the sides, into the eye and out the back of his head. In several minutes the prison was a mess, and prisoners were running left and right. But that didn't matter too me. I had what I came for. It looked like a scene out of an action movie. We barely got out of there, but sadly, we got hit again by a tracking missile. The helicopter was sinking, and fast. The main screen on the copter said that we had 2 minutes to evacuate. We couldn't parachute, but thankfully, there were fighter jets trailing behind us. Normally, this would have been a VERY bad thing, but this time, it was to our advantage. W WIP Category:Chromebookdude Category:Supernatural Category:Entities Category:Fantasy Category:User backstories Category:Gore Category:Blood Category:Dramapasta Category:Not minecraft Category:Wall of Text Category:Moderate Length Pastas